Pokemon But With Animals Instead
by 4fireking
Summary: What if you went on a journey where instead of Pokemon you used real life animals? Our protagonist will go on an adventure with his team of Pokemon. Note: This story contains crude but funny humor, violence, and sexual content. I got this from a Youtube Video called Pokemon But With Animals Instead. Do not read if you're under sixteen.


Disclaimer: this story is crude, but I hope it's funny. I took it from Pokemon But with Animals Instead on Youtube. It's gangster

Young Ian Bennett awoke from his bed. Everyone in this story is a stick figure. Meaning they're all white, ghost white not Caucasian, and look stupid. Ian was a stick figure with blond hair, a green hunter vest with a white shirt underneath. He wore blue jeans.

"Wooh! I'm like seven or something, which means I get to explore the world unaccompanied by an adult."

XXX

Ian entered Professor Oak's Lab.

**OAK **

**LABS **

**N**

**Shiiit **

Ian sticked up both of his middle fingers. He walked between two doors.

**Fuck Yeah Oak Labs PokeScience**

" Yo Oak, my crippled old butt stink! Give me a Pokémon already."

" Okay, you can have one Pokémon, but don't put it all at once. You can have the cat,( there can only be one), the dog ( there can only be one), or the snake ( there can only be one, unless you make multiple saves I guess, then trade with your friends or something, which is effectively cheating, cheater)."

" I pick the dog."

**Ian obtained Dog **

" Man, a dog is a best friend."

Ian's rival appeared.

" What about me, granddad? Don't I get a Pokémon?"

" Oh yes. Grandson, eh…Ian, what was his name again?"

" What the fuck granddad? You don't know my name?"

" Isn't it Ass Clown?" Ian laughed. " Pretty sure it's Ass Clown."

" Oh yeah, real mature Ian. I'm so being your nemesis since now."

" Yeah, say whatever you want, Ass Clown. Saw your sister out here. She gave me a map."

" So?"

" Smell my fingers."

" Aw, you're a dick."

" Did you boys know there are over seven million Pokémon out there?"

**Like 150,000 Mammals **

**+ 500,000 Reptiles, maybe? **

**+ A butt load of birds**

**+ I dunno, like, what 15 fish? **

**+ WAIT, HOW MANY?!**

**= Fuckin ay man, that's a lot of Pokémon, n that's not even counting insects' n shit. This would be way easier if there were just 150 of the critters, huh? Too bad bitch. **

" Did you know there were different types of Pokémon?"

" I didn't know," Ian said.

" What the fuck?" Ass Clown said. " How are we going to catch all them?"

" You can catch them using these. Pokeballs."

" Yo professor, what does this do?"

Ian was standing over a bear trap. He poked the bear trap with a stick.

" Boys, please…"

The bear trap snapped on Ian's stick.

" Woah!"

" No!"

Ass Clown stepped on a rope. The rope moved up hanging Ass Clown upside down.

" Woah!"

" No, please, stop!"

Ian had a bear trap on his head. Ass Clown threw a poke ball at the bear trap. The bear trap sprang to life falling off Ian's head.

" Wa-ho-ho!"

" Please stop it or—"

Ian fired an arrow from a crossbow as Ass Clown carried Cat. Ass Clown threw the cat into the bear trap. The bear trap sprang to life killing Cat.

" Woah."

" STOP IT!"

Ian raised Snake over the bear trap. The trap sprang to life crushing Snake and killing it.

" Oh, that was my last Pokémon. Ass Clown you can never own a Pokémon now. Are you happy?"

Ass clown kicked a small rock. " No."

" Well then, Ian come and get your poke balls."

" Hahahaha. Ball."

" Take your balls and get out of my house."

XXX

**Woah Yeah Oak Labs, Science everywhere up in this bitch **

**Assistant Required: Must be a four eyed fuck who hands out potions willy-nilly. **

" Alright, let's go catch some Pokémon."

XXX

Ian jumped in front of a cow with a poke ball in his hands. Instead of catching the cow Ian just head-butt it. Ian karate chopped a goat in the head. Stepped on a rabbit decapitating it. Jump kicked a horse in the face.

" Ah, Ian," Oak said.

Ian got into a fist fight with a kangaroo. He punched the kangaroo two times in his head and then punched the baby in the stomach. Ian jumped into the ocean with a knife stabbing a dolphin. Ian fought a mighty grizzly bear and kicked it in the balls.

" Ian! You're supposed to use your Pokémon to battle."

" Nah, I'm getting by pretty good like this." The bear vomited all over Ian's shoes.

" If you want to battle you should go to the gym."

" Gym. That's a pretty crash where I train to get tough, right?"

" No, you train in fields. You go to the gym to battle people and get badges."

" Japanese games sure are weird, huh, professor."

" You should see their porn."

**At The Gym **

Ian was against a chocolate skinned man with a red shirt and black pants. He had braided hair and bulgy biceps.

" Yo, I'm Bardroy. I beat like a fuckin' hexagon."

**I mean octagon**

Taped on the back of his shirt:

**I'M LIKE 30 BUT MY BEST MATES ARE KIDS!**

" Some motherfucker told me you specialize in rock Pokémon," Ian said.

" Shut your bitch mouth!"

" _They should put in the dialogue how much Pokémon I should choose. _I choose you, Dog. Dog, Dog, Dog, Dog. Use your Bite attack!"

" Get your dog off my leg, home's."

**Ian Wins**

" I can't see shit!"

**Dog got 2 XP **

**Bardroy caught Rabies**

**Huh? Dog is Evolving!" **

Dog flashed up and down. Up and down. He kept making the same movement until he stopped.

**Dog evolved into Monkey! **

" What the fuck?"

**Yeah, figure that one out, Darwin! You Beardy Bastard! **

**On the Next Pokémon: **Ian and Bardroy travel to Cerulean City using the worst walk animation ever. And meet a ginger.

" Hahaha!"—Ian

" What a fucked dilemma!"—Bardroy

**The Ends**


End file.
